Thursday, December 15, 2011

Me and my footprint



Brrriinnggg!!!

Brrriinnggg!!!

“Hello?

“Who’s calling? What’s that? The Society for a Sustainable Future?

“Well god bless you. What can I do for you?

“Do I have a few minutes for a poll? How can I say no to a Sustainable Future? Fire away.

“What’s that? Do I believe changes in individual behaviors and attitudes will make the biggest impact on a sustainable future? You bet. I love the environment, love it.

“Do I recycle? Of course. What could be easier? Trash in the red barrel. Plastic, glass and newspapers in the blue barrel. They teach this is pre-school, you know.

“What’s that? What is my thermostat set at right now? Wait a minute….

“80 degrees.

“That’s right, 80.

“Why so high? It’s December, you know. You’re calling north of the Mason-Dixon line. But in the summer it’s air conditioning 24/7 baby. OK. OK. Don’t worry, I’ll turn it down tonight.

“To what? I don’t know. Maybe 75. I like to feel toasty. Especially with the electric blanket on. Don’t worry. It’s got dual controls. That’s being energy-efficient, right?
“What’s that? What electric appliances do I run most often?

“Well, you have to understand, I’m one of those people, soon as I get home, the television goes on. Has to. I can’t stand a quiet house. Freaks me out. So the television is on basically whenever I’m home. At least I don’t sleep with it on. I knew a guy, couldn’t go to sleep at night without the TV on. Strange, huh?

“Then I might go in the kitchen and turn on NPR. No, I’m not really listening or watching. The news is too depressing. Have you watched it lately? Then, let’s see. I might pop something in the microwave.

“How often do I use the microwave? Ma’am, you know the world we live in. I’m microwaving every night. There’s no time.

“How far do I commute to work? Hah. Got ya there. I work at home. How many points do I get for that?

“Can I walk to where I shop for food.? What a concept, walk to shop. Just kidding. I could but I don’t. Why? I’d have the carry the stuff home. And those water bottles are heavy.

“How many water bottles do I consume in a day? I got to admit, I’m a little obsessive about my water bottles. It’s like I’m addicted. What? How many are in my frig right now? We’re getting a little personal, aren’t we? Just kidding. Wait…

“Ah, I guess there are about 20 or 30 in there. Hey, calm down. They’re eight-ounce Deer Parks. Of course, then I’ve got my giant tubular bottles of Smartwater. Can’t beat Smartwater. Oh, and then we have the easy pour three-quart jug of Deer Park for making coffee.

“What’s that you say? I’ve got enough plastic to cover an infield during a rain delay? I dunno, I never thought of it that way. C’mon, you gotta give me some points for recycling it all.

Diet and driving
“You want to talk more about diet? OK. How much beef do I eat? What’s that got to do with anything? What’s that you say? Raising livestock for human consumption creates 51% of GHG emissions, and pollutes rives and lakes. Well, I’m good for a couple of burgers a week, that’s about it. I’m not a big beef guy. I get points for that, right?

“What? What do I think about the cruelty of factory farming? To who? I know, I know, the farmers’ got it rough. The cattle? C’mon, they don’t even know where they are. They have pea brains. Just kidding. Alright. Alright. Jeez, I didn’t know this was a sore spot with you. This is where sustainability gets a little touchy feely for me. But don’t deduct any points, OK?

“My driving habits? OK. Well, I don’t have any points right now. I’m a good driver. “What’s that? How often do I drive somewhere where I could walk instead? Never. Listen, I live in the suburbs. We have sidewalks that lead to nowhere. Seriously, they just suddenly end, like they ran out of cement. Makes no sense. You know the suburbs, nothing is close to anything. The school’s too far to walk. Church, library, too far. Now did you ever once hear of anyone walking to a McDonald’s? Or Wal-Mart. Imagine someone actually walking to Wal-Mart. You could pull a hammy just crossing the parking lot.

“How many cars do I own? Let’s see. Five. What can I say, I like cars. And that’s not including the kids’ cars. When they’re home the front yard look like a moonshine runners’ convention what with all the cars all over.

“Would I consider purchasing a small, more fuel-efficient car, or a hybrid? The hybrid’s a little pricey for me, nice idea and all. You know, the economy isn’t exactly cooking along. We could still be in a recession. Who knows. And ah, small cars, they make me claustrophic. I don’t need those huge tail fins, we’ve outgrown them at least. And all the chrome. Nice, but you gotta move on…. Still, you know, this is America, not China. We’re a car nation.

Housing
“Would I consider downsizing into a smaller, more energy-efficient home? Like in England and Germany? But they’re row homes, aren’t they? Nothing against people who live in row homes. To each their own. But I’ve worked my career for my castle here. I’m kidding. This ain’t no McMansion. Don’t dock me too many points. But this is America, you know. We gotta express ourselves.

“What’s that you say? Am I willing to make meaningful reductions in my lifestyle for a sustainable future? What’s a meaningful reduction? You mean go back to something more simple? You mean give back? Not exactly the American way, but I guess I could go without so many water bottles. I don’t know if the family needs eight computers. But some of ‘em are old. I’d love to get rid of the kids’ cell phones, but that train left the station a long time ago. I don’t have an e-book or an iPad; I’ve got to get some points for that, huh? Let’s see, more reductions? Well, I guess I don’t have to use my underground sprinkler system every night on the grass. And to be honest with you, I could probably cut back on my 104-inch flat screen. It kind of takes over the room, you know?

“So that’s it? How did I score? What’s that? I’ve got a footprint the size of Crater Lake. You’re putting me on. Now exactly what is a footprint?

Who, me anxious?




A March 2011 survey by the American Psychological Association on “Stress in the Workplace” saw the glass half (or one-third) empty — emphasizing that 36 percent of workers said they typically feel tense or stressed out during their workday.

That leaves more than 60 percent not feeling particularly tense or stressed out during the day.


Call it the silent majority of the comfortably satisfied. Or acceptably challenged by their work.


Of course psychologists would be staring at empty waiting rooms in a world without stress, which is why APA places its emphasis where it does in its survey.

And we all know that “good news” doesn’t sell magazines and newspapers. Imagine a Time cover story: “Why Most Americans Don’t Feel Particularly Anxious About Anything.”

Well, here’s some good news for you:

77 percent of employees report having a positive relationship with their boss, according to the APA survey.

85 percent enjoy positive relations with their co-workers.

66 percent say they are motivated to do their very best for their employer.

(APA phrases it “only two-thirds” but in any office I’ve ever worked in, if two-thirds were trying “to do their very best” that’d be a pretty damn productive office. Many people hang on to the 80/20 rule, you know, 80 percent of the work is done by 20 percent of the people. So 66 percent seems good to me.

All in all, I’d say these percentages point to a fairly non-threatening, accomodating work environment.

The Penn State scandal: Eyes wide open



The term willful blindness refers to an individual who could have known the facts of a situation, and should have known the facts, but deliberately blinded himself to the existence of the facts.

It will be a long time before all the facts come out, if they ever do, about the charges up in Happy Valley, Pennsylvania that former assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky sexually abused at least eight young boys 40 times during a span of 15 years, some of which allegedly took place at the football complex.

Recently fired legendary football coach Joe Paterno has been accused of willful blindness. It’s argued that Penn State, a huge university with more than 40,000 students on the main campus and an annual budget of $4 billion, suffers from a case of institutional willful blindness.

JoePa regrets now that he did not “do more” after learning of an alleged incident involving Sandusky and a youth in football complex shower room in 2002. Sandusky was first investigated by campus police in 1998 after a alleged incident. After retiring in 1999, he retained “privileges”: he was invited to games to which he sometimes brought boys; on one bowl trip he took a young boy along. Sandusky maintained an office and had keys to the athletic facilities to workout and shower. I don’t call this willful blindness; it’s an open invitation.

Sandusky says there is nothing to be blind about; he is innocent, and has claimed to be since day one.

This tragedy is all too reminiscent of workplace safety horror stories. Who knew what and when did they know it?

Who knew the risks at the Texas City refinery, the Upper Big Branch mine, the Deepwater Horizon operation? When were they uncovered? Were they investigated as thoroughly as they ought to have been? Who made the decision that these risks were somehow acceptable? Why didn’t others speak up?

It has been said people are resistant to seeing the truth if it runs counter to what they have an economic stake in.

I’m sorry, but I don’t believe people are blind when there is money involved. You can’t be blind and manage huge sums of money.

And money is at the root of most every workplace safety debacle. Resistance to spend money to correct hazards or improve maintenance. Rushing to get the thing done to save money. Cutting corners to save money.

Penn State football generates $70 million in revenue, $50 million in profit. Success in football has put the school on the map. Donations from JoePa built the school library. Home games are played in one of the most massive stadiums in the country. Alumni love a winner and alumni dollars roll in. Big-time football has created a reputation for the university that attracts students (122,000 freshman applications this year) and faculty nationwide.

The core of that reputation or brand, as articulated for more than 40 years by Paterno, is to be successful athletically, economically prosperous, and as ethically clean as a Disneyworld street.

So who is going take down this Magic Kingdom in the middle of Pennsylvania that has been 50 years in the making? A county district attorney declined to pursue one of the abuse allegations several years ago, mysteriously disappeared in 2005, and was declared legally dead in July of this year. A temporary janitor observed one shower room incident, told other janitors, but never made a report to police. Penn State’s athletic director was told of an incident and did not file a police report. The school’s president has been fired for, in effect, trying to hide the ticking time bomb to protect the brand. Several other officials have been put on leave. State College, home to Penn State, is a small, rural town. It’s been said a powerful football coach knows everything that happens in town. So does his staff. Even the janitors knew something was very wrong.

I don’t see any kind of willful blindness. No one was blind to the money machine that is Penn State football. They knew the value of Penn State’s clean image. Officials knew of the allegations surrounding Sandusky going back to 1998 at least and the risk posed by keeping Sandusky around “with privileges.”

Complacent? Yes. Greedy? Yes. Reckless? Yes. Blind, willfully blind? No. Penn State officials knew what they were trying to protect. They knew they were delaying, hemming and hawing, not alerting authorities, not filing reports, downplaying allegations when they did surface. They willfully decided to take a huge risk in not getting caught. Just like in so many workplace disasters. There was no ignorance. People thought they could get away with a risk and it blew up in their face.

Sorry, Mitt, corporations are not people



Last August while trolling for votes at the Iowa State Farm, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney created a media stir when, egged on by an irate protestor, said, “Corporations are people, my friend.” After someone yelled, “No they’re not,” Romney went on: “Of course they are. Everything corporations ultimately earn goes to people. Where do you think it goes?”

Let’s put aside the issue of which “people” benefit most from corporate earnings, and the Grand Canyon-size gap between what executives are paid versus the average worker.

It’s been said forever that safety is all about people. Many if not most safety and health pros are drawn to their positions because of their feelings for people; their innate desire not see people hurt or killed on the job.

This often makes the safety and health pro something of a misfit in corporations. Because most employees in the corporation, most senior leaders, don’t share this level of caring and concern. Especially when it involves sizeable investments. So often the safety and health person becomes “the conscience of the corporation.”

If a corporation was a person, it would have its own conscience. It would have, either in its DNA or through parenting and schooling, some sense of right and wrong. But corporations are not biological, obviously. Some CEOs do have a conscience for safety, for sustainability, for a sense of corporate responsibility. But CEOs are agents for the corporation. Agents with agendas, emotions, perspectives, values, ambitions. These very human characteristics steer the corporation.

As such, sustainability and social responsibility often become “directional” tactics, not values. Marketing and communications departments get involved to make the corporation more appealing, more reputable and responsible to customers, stock analysts, investors, regulators, their own employees.

There is nothing wrong with tactics of self-interest if they benefit the safety and health of the employees, the environment, and the communities in which corporations operate. Let’s have more of it.

But don’t mistake that self-interest as coming from a living, breathing corporation. As the late economist Milton Friedman said, “The social responsibility of business is to increase its profits. In a 1970 article in “The New York Times Magazine,” Friedman said, “Only people can have responsibilities. A corporation is an artificial person and in this sense may have artificial responsibilities, but ‘business’ as a whole cannot be said to have responsibilities…”

No calls, no texting behind the wheel? I’ll go out of business!

Wait a minute.

You’re telling me, no calls, no texting, no email behind the wheel! No hands-free headset even? Then what was the point of those things?

I’m going to go out of business. Who is dictating my demise?

The National Transportation Safety Board? On December 13?

There goes Washington. Again. Issuing regs that shut down businesses. Damn.

What that’s? This is only a recommendation? The NTSB wants all 50 states to ban the use of any type of personal electronic device while driving, a nationwide ban, is that right?

Those DC bureaucrats are chained to their cubicles, you know, so they can’t wander around in the real world. I swear. They are so cut off from reality. They don’t get it. In the 21st century your car is your office, or one of your offices.

Listen, I’m on the road selling every week. I’m in the car every day, for hours and hours. Now if NTSB gets its way I won’t be able to call or text or email my office, my customers, my boss all those hours I’m in a car. Talk about lost productivity, there goes my productivity, out the damn car window.

Hell, no call, no text, no email… I will not know what’s going on in the world, or at least in my business world. No emails? I’m lost. Doomed. You cannot live without email.

What’s that? More than 3,000 people lost their lives in distraction-related accidents last year, eh? In one case a pickup driver who caused two school buses to crash had sent and received 11 text messages in the 11 minutes before the crash, is that so?

Well, still, this is classic, world-class regulatory overkill. Those bureaucrats in DC, what do they know? They all commute to work on the Metro. Let’s see them hump the interstates like I do all week selling for a living and do without any calling or texting or emailing. How do I confirm appointments? Schedule calls? Check my messages? Change flights? Talk to my team? Say goodnight to my kids? I am supposed to drive 4-5-6 hours a day and just stare out the window, talking to myself. I’ll go nuts. Driving for hours thinking about the business I’m losing. Dammit, this is even interfering with my parenting. I always call my kids before they go to bed.

There goes Washington, sticking its nose in places it shouldn’t be sniffing.

What’s that you say? Research shows about half of American drivers between 21 and 24 say they have thumbed messages or emailed from the driver's seat. Yeah, that’s easy to believe. Texting is mostly a kid thing, teenagers. Mostly a social thing. Washington doesn’t get it.

What’s that? At any given moment last year nearly one in every 100 drivers was texting, emailing, surfing the Web or otherwise using a hand-held electronic device, and that number is up by 50 percent from the year before? Listen, I’ll be honest with you, I squirm a little when I’m a passenger in a car and the driver is texting or on the phone. I do feel unsafe.

In fact, I can’t stand being in the car with one of my kids driving and texting, so I won’t allow it. Yeah, I ban it. But that’s family. I’ve got to do what I’ve got to do to make a living. Which means call, text and email from the road.

See, I trust my own driving abilities. I’m not worried at all about myself behind the wheel. Hell, I just about live behind the wheel.

This calls for drastic resistance. I’m going to organize a protest. What the hell, everyone is protesting about something these days. A bunch of my sales buddies will drive to Washington. Remember when truckers did this years ago to make their point? We’ll have hundreds, maybe thousands of sales reps in car rentals, all silver, cruising up and down and around the Mall. Can you picture it?

Then, this is the kicker. We’ll show the regulators distracted driving. Guys will be driving and eating Subway subs, with lettuce and mayo falling all over ‘em. Guys will be driving and reading maps. “Damn those tiny highway numbers, says the Baby Boomer with bad eyes. Guys will be leaning in, squinting at a GPS, reading the sports page, turned around to the back seat trying to find a CD. They be driving and blasting CDs, Ozzy Osbourne, yeah, Metallica, heavy metal, distracting as hell. We’ll put two reps in the same car and have them shout and scream at each other in a fight. Reps have been arguing in cars for 100 years.

One time I was making calls with another rep on election day. We got into a huge fight about who should be president. The rep driving got so caught up, so upset in not being able to “sell me” his candidate, at one piont he stopped the car with a jerk and said, “You’ve got me so steamed I’m completely lost. Do you know where we are?”

Nothing electronic about that at all.

So what are the feds going to do? Ban eating in cars? Ban CD playing? Limit the number of passengers? No infants, they’re damn distracting, that wouldn’t be a bad rule. No political or religious debates. I can live with that. No fiddling with the radio? Ban back-seat driving? That’s one good thing that could come out of this travesty.

Look, I understand the danger of distracted driving to kids. And this kind of electronic ban should apply to anyone under 21. Like drinking.

But working adults. You can’t throw us back to the 1950s. Just wait til you see thousands of silver rentals clogging up the Mall and scaring everyone with perfectly legal distracted driving. Then what will the feds say?

The persistent mental health stigma

One by one they disappeared into the dark house. All curtains and blinds were drawn. The house looked like a bulky shadow in the night. They were careful to time their arrivals. No clustering or crowds that would attract attention. Every few minutes another figure would knock and enter silently. Many wore hoodies, scarves and hats so their faces were concealed. They seemed nervous, edgy, walking to the house, looking around as though someone might be following them.

Inside, down in the basement, a circle of folding chairs was set up around a small table with white candles lit on it. Kind of like a church meeting.

The candlelight revealed the visitors to be adults of all ages. All appeared to be on their way home from work. There were a few secretaries. A car mechanic. Couple of warehouse guys. Then there were men in suits, executive looking. And women in smart pants suits. There was even a cop and a fireman. A teacher. Maybe two. And a nurse and a physician.

“OK,” said the hostess, a pleasant looking woman in her 50s. She looked like she had just come from work. “Everyone feel safe? No one followed you, right? That’s why we change the meeting address every week. Hard to find a moving target, you know.”

Everyone took their seats, settling into their chairs. Some had water bottles. Others brought coffee.

“Did everyone have a chance this week to read the material?” asked the hostess. Turns out hosts and hostesses rotate with every new meeting place.

Heads nodded.

“So… let’s hear it. What do you think of this report, ‘Sick on the job? Myths and Realities about Mental Health at Work’?”

There is uncomfortable silence. No one seems to want to break the ice. Numerous faces stare at the tile floor.

“Well,” one man finally spoke up. “This Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development, that wrote the report, is based in Paris. I don’t take comfort in that. The Europeans have always been far ahead of the U.S. when it comes to facing up to mental health issues. I don’t think this report, important as it is, will have any impact whatsoever on U.S. businesses.”

“There is a lot of truth in the report,” said a woman. “One in five workers suffer from a mental illness, such as depression or anxiety, and many are struggling to cope. We can all relate. It is a struggle.”

“And it’s definitely true,” said a young man, “most people with mental health disorders do work. It’s not like we’re trying to be lazy.”

“When I’m anxious or depressed, sure, my productivity goes down,” said the mechanic. “I try to hide it best I can.”

“Sometimes I can’t get out of bed in the morning,” said one of the men in suits and ties. “I hate it, but I call in sick. That report is right, workers with mental health disorders are of course more likely to have more absences.”

“It just so tough to file a disability claim for anxiety or depression or burn out,” said one of the secretaries. “I tried it once years ago and got rejected. Even with my physician’s notes on my medical history. Insurance claimed that since I was not 100% incapacitated by my illness, that I could get up and get around and still do my job, I was not truly disabled.”

“The best I could do was get a month’s unpaid leave from my boss,” said a woman. “When I came back, he said, ‘Now I just want you to promise me this will never happen again.’ What could I say? He had me. As you all know, one of the real frustrations with depression and anxiety is it is unpredictable. You don’t know how you’re going to feel next week, or tomorrow. Some days I have energy, some days I’m really struggling. But I told my boss, “Yeah, this won’t happen again.” And I’m thinking to myself: It won’t happen on this job again because if it does, I’m out of here. They won’t put up with me.”

“That’s why I do everything I can to cover up my depression,” said one of the warehouse guys. “Once they find you out, they never look at you the same way. You are on permanent probation. They don’t trust you, no matter how many excellent performance reviews you’ve had. The stigma, I think it’s worse than being an alcoholic, a gambler, an adulterer. Those things are more out in the open. Hell, look at ‘Mad Men.’ All of that was OK in the office. Boys will be boys.

“But have a panic attack and have to hide in a bathroom stall, well, big boys don’t cry, you know,” said another man. When that has happened to me I wish I was a woman with a make-up kit.”

The tight circle of work-weary men and women laughed or smiled.

“I’ve used my company’s EAP,” said a woman. “They put me in touch with some good people. It helped. But you know, I do wonder about privacy. There just doesn’t seem to be privacy anywhere anymore. IT from HQ 600 miles away can get crawl all around my computer and emails. So I wonder. If I do use the EAP 800 number, you mean no one but no one in my company knows anything about it? I’m not sure about that firewall.”

“Well, it’s good to talk like this,” said the host. “At least here we can be ourselves, be out in the open. See and hear how others deal with working with mental health issues.

“You mean our stealth tactics,” said a young man.

“Our evasion tactics,” said another.

“You got to protect your livelihood,” said the cop. That report from France says people with a mental disorder are two to three times as likely to be unemployed as people with no disorders. I believe it, and I can’t afford to lose my job, not in this economy. So I go underground.”

“Or stay in the closet,” grinned another man.

“That’s why the report says almost 50% of those with a severe mental disorder and over 70% of those with a moderate mental disorder do not receive any treatment for their illness. It’s too much of a risk. You never know how people will react. Badly, mostly.”

“Well, our situation will never get better unless it’s discussed out in the open much, much more than it is today,” said a woman. “Most common mental disorders can get better, we all know that, and employment chances can be improved with the right treatment. But health systems just focus on treating people with severe disorders, like schizophrenia, who make up only one-fourth of sufferers. Employers need to know there are all different levels and degrees of mental health disorders. We’re not all bound for the asylum.”

The group got a chuckle out of that.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Borderline madness or myth?



An Arizona Trilogy

Foreword

Bill Moyers: Can you say, for example, that John Wayne has become a myth?
William Campbell: When a person becomes a model for other people’s lives, he has moved into the sphere of being mythologized.

The west, Arizona for certain, is one of the states richest in romantic mythology. There is the land: Arizona sunsets. Arizona highways. The iconic Grand Canyon and Monument Valley, which straddles Utah. High desert country. Sedona’s red rocks.

There are heroes and villains. Wyatt Earp. Doc Holiday, Kit Carson. Cochise, Geronimo, Pancho Villa. And the actors of Arizona westerns (we’ll put aside the palefaces who played Indians): The Duke, Burt Lancaster, Clint Eastwood, Paul Newman, Kirk Douglas, Anthony Quinn, Lee Marvin, Ernest Borgnine. The Old Tucson movie lot provided the films, the context for myth-making, from about 1939 with the film “Arizona” (appropriately enough) until about 1997. By then filmmakers had fanned out across western states in search of better tax breaks.

I came to Arizona in late February for a way-too-short guerilla road trip tacked on to a business meeting. I came with a baby boomer’s memories of TV series like Gunsmoke, Bonanza, Wagon Train, Tales of Wells Fargo, The Big Valley, The High Chaparral. And films: Gunfight at the OK Corral, 3:10 to Yuma, Last Train from Gun Hill. Part of the attraction for me was, and still is, the John Wayne/Shane character model: havingr room to roam, freedom, independence, a natural savvy, no need to explain yourself. I also find a clarity out west, like seeing things in high contrast, that is lost in the polluted east. Perceptions improve. And there is an energy in the West, maybe it comes from having that room to roam free, or the fierce sun, that seems to be manufactured by ambition, the rat race, in say, Manhattan or DC.

I came to Arizona for a quick look-see at what has happened out here since the TV westerns died out after the 1950s and 60s, after Wayne and larger than life western actors died off. After the vast open pit mines closed. And since the invasion of illegal “wets” (a myth itself since the desert is dry ten months out of the year) and the empires of Mexican mafia clans began making billions of dollars. I would put about 750 miles on the odometer to see where and how the Old West meets the New West. How the legends hold up, and if they still have meaning.

Borderline madness or myth?

Why walk or drive across the Mexican border these days? My 88-year-old mother warned me, “God, I’ll be glad when you get back.” My wife warned me, my daughter warned me, friends and coworkers. Jeez, be careful down there. I was curious to see — as much as is possible in a three-day blitzkrieg tour tacked on to a business trip — whether the reality is borderline madness or modern media myth-making.

In Arizona the talk is about rugged individualism. Saddle up. Wagons ho! The Old West. The Far West. The Wild West. Stage coaches and bat-wing saloon doors. Tumble weeds and Deadwood Dick. Wyatt Earp and Pancho Villa. Cochise and Geronimo. Tombstone and Boot Hill. Mining empires and ranching empires.

Old romance versus current reality: More than 35,000 people have been killed since Mexican President Felipe Calderon launched his crackdown against drug syndicates — the Gulf Cartel, Los Zetas, La Familia, et al — in December, 2006. About 17,500 Border Patrol agents scour the nearly 2,000-mile U.S.-Mexican border. In the few days I was on the border local newspapers carried stories about a seizure of 8,700 rounds of ammunition; Arizona investigators seized $420,000 and confiscated about 100 pounds of marijuana and six pounds of methamphetamine. Minor losses for the bosses that make everyday news.

Border Patrol white and green SUVs and pickups are everywhere, like taxis in Manhattan. They’re kept busy. One afternoon the BP was called to a ranch after skeletal remains were found. A few miles east of Tombstone a body clothed in a hoodie and jeans was found off Middlemarch Road. Up in Tucson a Mexican drug trafficker was found beheaded in an apartment building. West of Douglas, Arizona a border helicopter’s searchlights spot 128 illegals lost in the desert one night. A Cochise County rancher was found last year murdered by a suspected illegal immigrant.

Is the border a no-man’s land, or a no-go-for-tourists’ land of kidnappings, beheadings and public shootouts? I did my Google research before flying west. Yes, it is easy to find various State Department warnings. The central thesis from all I could gather is to blend in as much as possible. So I went out and bought an “original Senor Lopez” black and green-striped hoodie. (“We call those ‘drug rugs,’ dad,” said my son. Perfect.)

Internet instructions included: “Avoid overt displays of wealth.” Don’t flash jewelry. Carry only the cash you need. Watch yourself at ATMs. Stay with the crowds on streets. Watch your back everywhere, day or night. “Visitors should be aware of their surroundings at all times.” “Always keep car doors locked and windows up while driving.” Avoid driving or walking alone at night.

“After reading all of this you may not want to go across the border,” states one blog post. Well, hello.

But I had a plan. From my base in the border town of Douglas, I’ll cross over into Mexico early, very early on a Sunday morning. Hopefully the drug lords and their minions will be sleeping off Saturday night. From Agua Prieta on the Mexican side I will hop on Sonora State Highway 2, which looks like a well-traveled route on the map and is hopefully empty on a Sunday morning. I’ll take it slow. Many highways in Mexico have steep shoulders to avoid flash floods and many more Americans die in highway rollovers than are caught by stray bullets. I’ll follow the advice from the movie Apocalypse Now. There is a scene where Chef and Captain Willard are jumped in the jungle by a tiger. Chef comes screaming back, “I’m never getting off the fucking boat. Never get off the fucking boat.” Rolling down Highway 2 for Cananea — “horse meat” in Apache — about 80 miles south and home to the largest open pit mine in Mexico, I’ll never get out of the car.

The car proves to be a problem, a mistake. My plan was to “blend in” by renting a humdrum compact and dusting it up a bit going off road before crossing the border. But Cliff, my friendly Budget Rent A Car clerk at Phoenix’s Sky Harbor Airport, announced I was his last customer of the day and gave me a free upgrade — a silver convertible Ford Mustang. I was too zoned out from the five-hour flight from Philadelphia to think straight. A convertible Mustang is not what you want to cruise Mexico in. I’d either be mistaken for a gangster or be car-jacked by a gang.

I cross the border around 7 a.m., past parallel 12-foot-high steel fences that run the length of Douglas and Aqua Prieta. Aqua Prieta is a “popular shopping area for southern Arizona residents,” according to one web site. “Where South of the Border Intrigue abounds,” states a brochure. The “intrigue” I get, the popular shopping is difficult to swallow. It’s hard to believe this is a city of 68,000. I see only wild dogs roam dirt streets. What I see of the city is dead, and looks reservation poor. Easier to believe is the Spanish name for Aqua Prieta: “Dark Water.”

Border Patrol agents look me over: “Where are you going? What will you do there? How long are you staying? What’s your occupation, sir? Will you be bringing anything back? Where are you staying? Is this your car?” I blame all the questions on the silver convertible. On the Mexican side I’m directed into a parking slot and asked a few questions in Spanish, which I do not speak. I nod “yes” and they wave me along.

The Sunday morning drive is in fog-shrouded, 30-degree weather called “equipatas,” a mix of hail, rain and snow. The road is cracked, worn, and as barren as the surrounding Sonora desert. All brown and gray. The vibe does not feel dangerous. At Cananea I’m abruptly stuck behind 20 or 30 semi tractor trailers, all stopped. I snake out of the line only to be quickly stopped by a Mexican police officer. I want to get to Imuris, I tell him, another 40 miles south. He grins. “No speak English.” The next half hour I spend driving up and down Cananea streets, looking for an alternate route. But I can’t get around a vast open pit copper mine, the largest in the country. I break my rule and get out of the car at a local supermarket. Another rule of the road for me is this: there are two ways to really check out any local populace — walk the aisles of a supermarket and take public transportation somewhere. Actually, in Cananea I’m hunting for Cuban cigars and the only store open is the supermarket. A long shot for cigars, and I find none.

Why drive further south to Imuris? A bit further on is Magdalena de Kino, where I want to photograph the Temple of Santa Maria Magdelena. It’s also where I plan to turn around and drive north on State Highway 15 for 50 miles to the border city of Nogales. I circle around Cananea to make a last attempt to pass the line of trucks and slip through a loose barricade of barrels and cones. I still don’t understand the delay. It is an embarrassing disadvantage to travel a country and have no idea of the native tongue. I’m shouted down by several officers as I try to squeeze through the barriers. Fuck it. Nothing is worse on the road than retreating back the way you came.

So I head back on Highway 2, now with the sun breaking through solid low cloud cover. I find a turn off, hang a left, and head to cross back into the states at the small, very small village of Naco. At Naco two Border Patrol officers direct me to park the car for what they call a “routine inspection.” A line of vehicles backs up behind me because I can’t figure out how to flip open the damn trunk. I fumble around like a clueless touristo. This is not blending in. Finally one of the officers figures it out. They open the trunk. Open the hood. Open the doors. “Sit over there, sir, this won’t take long.” They bang the tires. Roll adjustable mirrors on extension rods under the front and rear. Pound door panels. Meanwhile I watch a steady flow of cars with Arizona plates cruise through. I blame the “routine inspection” on the silver Mustang convertible. And possibly my Senor Lopez “drug rug.”

From Naco I have a choice: backtrack to Douglas, where there is nothing worth doing, or take a looping, long route to Nogales from the Arizona side. In Douglas, a town of about 15,000, I’m staying at the historic Gadsden Hotel, the largest building in the city. Built in 1907, it has five floors, one of the few remaining manually operated elevators in the country, a 1929 manual telephone switchboard behind the front desk, a lobby with a sweeping Italian marble staircase, a tiffany-stained glass mural, and four soaring Italian marble columns. Shadowy, headless ghosts supposedly wander in the basement, in hotel corridors, playing tricks with lights and furniture. The hotel burned down in 1929, with no loss of life, and was rebuilt. One night I was reading in bed when the bed lamp went out. I figured the ghosts were telling me it was time to turn in.

The rooms are Spartan, the radiator I couldn’t figure out how to crank up, and the room carpet is laid like loose sod. Did you ever see the Coen Brothers’ film Barton Fink? The Gadsden reminds me of the rundown Hollywood hotel Barton stays in, trying in vain to write a movie script. Steve Buscemi, bulging eyes and nervous ticks, plays the creepy desk clerk. Wallpaper keeps peeling off in Barton’s room. In the finale, narrow hotel corridors like the Gadsden’s become tunnels of flames in Barton’s hellish nightmare exit from Hollywood.

I don’t want to go back to Douglas. Saturday night in the Gadsden’s Saddle Spur Saloon was enough. Another legend has it Lee Marvin, in town to film a western and likely bored to death, almost got into a brawl in the tavern. I was compelled to leave — not by the three old timers talking real estate, or the young barkeep who told me Chivas Regal was one of the bourbons he had, or the old guy and his young thing getting lovey-dovey in a circular booth — no, it was the music. A lanky middle-aged rancher-dude with white cowboy hat and a beer swilling older babe kept returning to the jukebox to play dismal Top 40 hits from the 1980s, the worst decade for music in my life. Journey. Heart. Foreigner. Michael Bolton and Christopher Cross. My god what a dark, depressing scene. Also, I wanted to get upstairs before a DJ plugged in in the lobby to kick off sweet 16 party that the desk clerk had warned me about.

Instead of a drawn out aimless Sunday afternoon in Douglas, I decide on taking the long arc to the west to get to Nogales. Nogales on the Mexican side is one of the more notorious border towns. In Nogales, Arizona, the assistant police chief swears by low crime stats that indicate his city is one of the safest in the whole country, according to the Nogales International newspaper. But residents often hear gunfire, smell gun powder, and they don’t feel safe visiting their sister side on the other side of the line, according to the article.

Across the entire 2,000-mile stretch of the U.S-Mexican border, Nogales is one of the busiest crossings, rivaling Laredo, El Paso and Hildago Texas, and San Ysidro, California. The freezing late February rain and snow flurries don’t help, but I find zero romance in the sprawling city of 189,759 people. This time I walk across the border. It’s part of my plan: Sunday afternoon should be the safest time of the week to stroll on your lonesome in a border town. Mexican families are out and about shopping, despite the wet, dreary weather. Nogales is too poor for a car culture. Long lines wait for buses, white and blue rickety old school buses, and jitneys. I see no lovers holding hands. No smiles. No laughs. It’s grim. You get hustled immediately. “Taxi, taxi, you want taxi?” To go exactly where? My Internet research says never hop in a cab unless it’s called from a restaurant or hotel. Too much kidnapping. Vendors in booths, stalls, and cramped shops shout like carnie barkers: “What do you want? What do you want? Pills. You want pills? Come on, boss, see my stuff. Come in. See my store. What you want?”

A Cuban cigar is all I want. Cuban imports are banned in the U.S. But Mexico has little problem with Castro and I figure I should be able to score a legendary Cuban smoke. Soon enough, not five minutes into Nogales, I find a Cuban cigar cart. Again, Internet research says to always barter with Mexican vendors. Don’t wimp out; they expect it. One guide states you should pay only half of any stated price. I settle for two cigars, one light, one moderate. Very likely I overpay. And I wonder, are they truly Cuban? Are they five years old? I don’t believe anything I’m told by loudmouthed, in-your-face hawkers. A salesman is a salesman, in Nogales, Mexico, Las Vegas or the French Quarter. The harder they sell, the less I believe.

The best way to experience a border town like Nogales is to find an insider or a guide. They take you beyond the blending in scheme to go behind the scenes. They know of charming alleyways, the few that they are, the best, hidden restaurants, the authentic craft shops. Travel writers often use these guides, maybe from the local tourism bureau or chamber of commerce, and wind up writing appropriately glowing accounts. I read a few on the ‘Net about Nogales, and they were notable for what they didn’t say. The hard stares from old, leathery men. The small cluster of guys I wouldn’t walk near in the dark. Pathetic poverty. Nogales sits in a north-south valley with steep hills. Hills crammed with box shanties painted bright orange, blue, yellow, green, red, purple. I want to walk up worn steps along side streets to get a closer look at some of the pillboxes but, no, this is not my neighborhood. A gringo walking these hills is like a tourist staring at the Amish, or Indians on the rez. Except the natives are more restless here.

According to an unofficial tally by Radio XENY in Nogales, Sonora, a surge of violence in 2009 brought the number of homicides to 136, up by six from 2008. One Saturday, near midtown, neighbors looked on as a 28-year-old was assassinated inside his older-model Buick Century, according to a newspaper account. Witnesses said the car was sprayed with at least 30 bullets. A popular taco stand in mid-town was sprayed with machine-gun fire. Three were killed and five others injured. One Monday three bodies were discovered on the streets of Nogales, all victims of strangulation. Two men were found executed at a department store on the south side of the city. Two other men were killed and another injured the same day in the parking lot at a grocery story. The next day, a “convoy” of gunmen arrived at a drive-through store, doused the inside with gasoline and torched the building, according to news reports.
I pull my Senor Lopez hoodie over my head as far as I can so you can’t see my face easily, pull my hands inside the long sleeves, and put on a serious game face. I’m a 55-year-old suburban family man and my get-up would have my wife and my kids and my boss rolling their eyes. Suburbanites don’t blend well into the Philadelphia street scene, let alone a Mexican border town. I leave my camera in the car and walk with the straight-ahead stare, a hard-ass look I see worn by many of the men in town. It’s cold and wet. I keep walking. I watch out for cars that are not watching for me. Many are old models packed with passengers. I read where a 23-year old Mexican male was stopped in Mesa, Arizona. He tested twice the limit for alcohol — and had seven kids in his car, three in the trunk. My walk aims for a Coca Cola billboard sign, then further to a large Burger King sign. I pass a dead dog on a sidewalk.

The further from the line you go, the deeper into town, the vendor hassling drops off to almost nothing. Only narrow, twisted alleys littered with trash, tires and puddles. Bars, some blasting beats, clubs, movie houses, porn shops, diners, nail salons, hair salons, plenty of pharmacies, grocery stores, department stores, banks. It reminds me of walking in Times Square in the 1970s, long before the cleanup.

I’m also thinking of another movie. The famous three-minute uninterrupted crane tracking shot that opens Orson Welles’ noir classic Touch of Evil. A doomed couple in a flashy convertible cruise at night down four blocks of a border town amid flashing neon signs, blaring Tex-Mex music, shouts and crowds. The car stops at a border checkpoint, proceeds out of frame, and then blows up.

It is the atmosphere conveyed in that scene that I see around me in Nogales on a gray Sunday afternoon in February. Crumbling steps, potholed streets, side alleys, rusting cars. Nogales certainly cannot be captured in four blocks. It is the largest port of entry in Arizona. Four million people a year crossed the border on foot at Nogales in 2010. Millions more by car and truck. Most of the traffic seems to be Mexicans heading El Norte, certainly not Americans going south. I think of thin, middle-aged wives wearing designer scarves and jangling jewelry while their husbands fiddle with golf bags at the Phoenix Sky Harbor airport. No, they’d never go slumming down here, trying to hide their tans.

Walking into Mexico is a breeze, just flash your passport and driver’s ID to the U.S. guard. Coming back across is more time-consuming. I wait in long line of pedestrians, mostly Mexicans, for 20 minutes before pushing through the turnstiles and again waving passport and ID at the stone-faced U.S. guard. Coming back into Mexico are huge, boxed flat screen TVs from Wal-Mart pushed on dollies, and cases of bottled water in shopping carts from Safeway. Six or seven lanes of vehicles, mostly worn, faded sedans, SUVs, pick-ups and semis, stretch back a half-mile into Mexico. Like the Holland Tunnel at rush hour, but even more gridlocked.

There is obvious madness on the border. The beheadings, slaughter, blood feuds and people mad to escape into the states. There is media and political myth-making, too, much to the chagrin of southern Arizona tourist promoters, law enforcement officers, and elected officials. More than 80 percent of the 15,600 drug-related killings that took place in Mexico in 2010 occurred in only four of the country’s 32 states, and Sonora, home to Aqua Prieta, Cananea and Nogales, is not one of them. Highway crashes kill many more Americans than bombs or bullets. Tucson’s police chief said in a newspaper article his town is victimized by home invasions and kidnappings related to the drug trade, but “most of those committing the rip-offs are American citizens.”

The border is not a line in the dirt, a steel fence or cement wall. It is, as a Customs and Border Protection commissioner said, “a third country that joins Mexico and the United States.” The 2,000-mile corridor is poverty-stricken, desperate and full of fear on the Mexico side, and on the U.S. side it is heavily guarded, largely barren, with the faded glory of the Old Tucson movie set (which hasn’t seen any filming since 1997). Most American tourists will fly over this third country on their way to a South of the Border resort compound, if they go at all. That makes sense. The tranquil clarity I love about the west becomes something edgy and murky on the border.


Close encounters of the cacti kind

From the parking area of Gates Pass, a hilly area aptly named the Tucson Mountains just east of Tucson, Arizona, dotted with thousands of saguaro cacti, a hike up to a ridgeline about a half-mile away looks like a gradual slope, certainly doable. This so-called minor range has peaks from 2,000 to 4,600 feet. The climb I scope out gets steeper near the top, but that’s to be expected. Only later, after I spent an hour scrambling, often hand over hand to reach to top, and another half-hour sliding mostly on my butt coming down, did I read in Backpacker magazine that “overconfidence” is one of 52 common mistakes hikers make. About 42 percent of rescue calls in Utah national parks are due to fatigue, darkness, and insufficient equipment. The bottom line: foolhardy planning.

Guilty as charged. I came to the pass on the last day of February with no plan, no map, no route, no water bottle, no watch, no compass. It was just a brilliantly blue sky Monday morning, cool, cloudless, with the famous Arizona sun creating a picture postcard. It was early, around nine a.m, and mine was the only car in the lot. I had Gates Pass to myself.

And if I had a plan, it was simply to hike up a slope on the north side of the pass, snapping pictures of the saguaro forest all the way to the rocky top. There was no path, I’d choose my own zig-zagging angle of ascent, which had appeal. Little did I know I was ignorantly committing a “crime of fashion,” according to Backpacker. “Ever notice how many stories about rescued hikers include the line, ‘The missing man was wearing jeans and tennis shoes.’?” Uh, that would be me. The tennis shoes, or sneakers as we call them back east, would be my worst clothing faux pas.

Hiking up the reddish-brown sandstone slope took about an hour. Technically, this was an easy, pedestrian walk in the sun. But my sneakers offered no protection against the saguaro needles. Let me explain: The saguaro is the cacti most often used as an emblem of the southwest in commercials, movies, TV shows and tourist propaganda. These plants are light green columns, large and tree-like, with long vertical rows of needles an inch or more in length. Some saguaro grow arms generally bent upward. Some have as many as 25 arms; others have none. Saguaros can grow, very slowly over decades, to heights of 40-60 feet.

I had no trouble walking my way around these stunning plants, sometimes ducking beneath their arms. To see thousands of them on rolling desert hills on a clear, cloudless morning is to experience the power and glory of nature. But if you are out of fashion in your hiking gear, most importantly footwear, you have obstacles, enemies, that you most often don’t even see. Saguaro are very slow growing cactus. A ten-year-old plant might be only 1.5 inches tall. Time and again I’d feel a sharp pain, look down at my feet, and these damnable pincushions, like prickly green golf balls, would be stuck to my sneakers, with needles piercing through to my skin. “Where the hell did they come from?” I’d curse. They also proved adept at affixing themselves to my jeans and hoodie sweatshirt.

Prying them off was no easy deal. I couldn’t simply grab them and yank them off. I swear what seemed like hundreds of needles in each small, round ball of light green had little hooks on the end and extracting them was like pulling teeth. And I couldn’t grab the prickly devils with my bare hands. I needed a strong twig or a rock to scrap them off.

Still, the hike up was enjoyable — a good test of overall fitness, plus agility, flexibility, balance, strength, endurance, and best of all, the mental concentration. The concentration comes into play trying to figure out your best line, your clearest, most stable path, up through the saguaro, giant sage shrubs, ironwood trees, gullies and chunks of rock. Which rock to grab. Where the footing looks most secure. Is that branch strong enough to pull you up? You also look and listen for any signs of rattlesnakes in particular, under rocks, also maybe gila monsters, horned lizards, squirrels and rabbits. It’s like chess: do I make this move to the right, the left, or straight ahead? You are, as psychologists call it, in the “flow.” In the moment. A painful moment when stung by one of those youthful saguaro, those damnable burr balls..

I lounged at the top of the ridge for 20 minutes or so. To the west I could see the Old Tucson movie set. Down below snaked the Gates Pass road. To the east, ten miles away, was the min skyline of downtown Tucson. Homes dotted the hills to the north, with the Saguaro National Park further north, and to the south the Sonora desert stretched into the blue-gray of Mexico, some 110 miles off.

My descent was more treacherous and unfortunately involved a series of dork moves on my part. Again, there was no beaten path to follow. I quickly learned my sneakers provided no traction on the loose gravel and shale. I should have read the Backpacker article before my trip. Mistake number 41: Stepping carelessly. “About 77 percent of the 306 injuries recorded in Yellowstone in 2003-04 were leg sprains, strains, abrasions and lacerations,” said the article. “Watch you step. Wear high boots and use poles to prevent stumbling.”

I had no boots, no poles, and a sore butt from falling backward. About halfway down I realized the best tactic was to descend side-step fashion, one foot crossing over the other. Better traction, but still it didn’t prevent the biggest tumble, when I completely lost my footing and fell against a saguaro. Must have taken ten minutes to pry the pincushions off my sneaks, jeans, hoodie, fingers and scalp. Some of the most stubborn needles are still embedded in me, I believe, as I write this

Coming down I also committed mistake number 20 — getting disoriented. I had no compass and did not leave marks on my hike up that I could follow coming back down. I lost sight of the Gates Pass parking lot, and as I got lower, the Gates Pass road itself. Giant saguaros could serve as landmarks, but hiking through thousands of them is like a maze of mirrors. For the most part, they all look the same, that iconic symbol of the west.

Finally I found my way to the road, about a half-mile east of where I had started my hike from the parking lot. It was close to noon. Gates Pass was now being challenged by a steady stream of seriously committed cyclists. You know, the ones with zero body fat. The pass has been considered an extremely dangerous road due to a switchback slope that occurs midway through the route, with 58 wrecks reported between 1996 and 2001.

All in all, I considered myself beaten but lucky. I did the hike by my lonesome. The weather was gorgeous. I had no broken bones, twisted ankles, sprained knees or elbows. No snake bites. No bobcat or mountain lion encounters. No fateful blunder. But honestly, I was a foolhardy tenderfoot, a 55-year-old suburban baby boomer imposing another age-defying test on myself. Would I do it again? Not without a lot more foresight. Once pricked, twice shy.


Cochise gets the last laugh

It’s right there on the map of Arizona, in tiny red type that strains my 55-year-old eyes: Cochise’s Stronghold in the Dragoon Mountains, about 140 miles southeast of Tucson. It is the remoteness of the spot that draws me more than Indian lore. You see, I get excited by little dotted lines on a map. That indicates trails, not highways. The only way to Cochise’s Stronghold, either from the west or the east of the Dragoons, are primitive bounce-along trails.

There is a problem, though, I have the wrong vehicle to go off road. At Phoenix’s Sky Harbor Airport I was upgraded to a silver Mustang convertible, “a great deal,” I was informed. Has a kick-ass sound system, I’ll give it that. But it is so low-slung in design that it has but four inches of clearance beneath its underbelly and the road. Utterly wrong for the rutted, rock-strewn off-road desert rambles I planned.

I flew to Arizona from back east, Philadelphia, to see if I could find what hard facts might lie behind or beyond the myths of The Old West. Cochise County seemed as good place to look. It is the home of Tombstone, the “town too tough to die,” Boot Hill, the Gunfight at the OK Corral, Mexican border towns, and ghost towns like Gleeson and Pearce. Cochise’s Stronghold, just a tiny red square on the map, was ground zero for my exploring the Sonora desert country.

At the Tombstone Chamber of Commerce building I asked how to reach Cochise’s place. I pointed to a dirt trail, Middlemarch Road. “Will this get me there?” A rangy old-timer behind the counter looked at me strange, as in “Why in the hell do you want to do that?” “Well, yeah, I guess that’ll work,” he said. I was not reassured.

He’s the native here. But it was an optimistically bright late February Saturday afternoon. I lowered the convertible roof and took off down dusty Middlemarch Road. A yellow warning sign said: “PRIMITIVE ROAD. Caution. Use at your own risk. Surface is not regularly maintained.”

Just the welcome I was waiting for. The joke was the 35 M.P.H. sign beneath the lettering. Not in this Mustang. I crawled along at about 10 M.P.H., not wanting to owe Budget more than the price of my whole vacation. Every driver of a pick-up or SUV I passed heading the other direction would casually wave as we passed. Made me feel part of some dusted-up fraternity, a less of a jackass for being out here in a got-it-all-wrong Mustang convertible. I passed not a single sedan off-road. A Border Patrol pick-up, white with a large green slash running down both front doors, crept up behind me and followed for some time. Probably thinking I was either drunk or lost.

The Mustang bounced east along Middlemarch Road for ten miles, which took almost an hour to drive. The Mustang’s low clearance made the ten miles seem like one long cattle crossing rumble strip. Then Middlemarch Road came to a fork. I could continue on straight, or turn left onto a narrower trail with a sign indicating mountain views. There wasn’t a house, animal or human in sight. Just low trees, desert scrub, winter grass and the Dragoon range ahead. I was getting closer. The sun was still high. I figure on taking the mountain view. I had no GPS, but out here I don’t know if a satellite would find me.

It took some time for it to dawn on me that I had made the wrong turn. Sure, this trail was much more rocky than Middlemarch Road, which seemed like an interstate in comparison. And it wasn’t much wider than my Mustang. The few jeeps or SUVs coming the other way forced me up on the road’s shoulder.

But I was having fun figuring what imaginary lines to follow to miss chunks of junk rock, skirt gullies, ride the edge of old ruts; in other words how to avoid getting stuck. Up, down and around dry gulch beds the Mustang banged and clanged. I wasn’t driving, I was creeping under 5 M.P.H. Up a jagged incline and down a twisted hill. I was in the middle of the Sonora Desert and often couldn’t see 20 feet in front of me, what with the trail carved low, the bramble brush, boulders and tall grass. Got out and took a photo of the Mustang; all you could see was the windshield in what looked like a trough. Cochise’s Stronghold… I didn’t have a clue.

Cochise is a truly legendary figure, if you go by the formal definition of “legend”: someone forever talked about but never once photographed; someone actually seen by few people. A Chiricahua Apache, a solid warrior standing about six feet tall and 175 pounds with long black hair, his name “Cheis” meant “having the quality or strength of oak.” That would come in handy out here. His father was murdered by Mexican forces, and his brother and nephew were killed in battles. Cochise seemed to me a guerilla fighter or a frontier terrorist, a freedom fighter, supposedly unequaled with a lance. Something of a Native American Renaissance Man, a naturalist, spiritualist, philosopher and warrior.

“When I was young I walked all over this country, east and west, and saw no other people than the Apaches,” he once said. “After many summers I walked again and found another race of people had come to take it. How is it? Why is it Apaches wait to die – that they carry their lives on their fingernails? I am alone in the world. I want to live in these mountains. I have drunk the waters of the Dragoon Mountains and they have cooled me: I do not want to leave here. Why shut me up on a reservation? Let us go around free as Americans do. Let us go wherever we please.”

Sounds fair enough to me. Cochise lived to be about 70, and was secretly buried in the hostile, unforgiving terrain at north end of the Dragoon range, which I was attempting to navigate in a convertible sports car. I imagined Cochise up in the sky getting a good laugh out me. This little ant of a tourist from frilly Philadelphia inching his way between the broad boulders of the big man’s rock fortress.

I don’t know how they ever got Cochise out of there. The so-called stronghold is a jumble of 50- to 100-foot high slabs of dull red and gray granite, bunched together in slanted columns. In February the tall grass is yellow and the iron wood trees, well, leafless and looking like they’re made of iron.

Cochise used the stronghold as his cover and base from which he attacked white settlements in the 1860s and early 1870s. Arms, even artillery, could not dislodge him, but a treaty did, negotiated between a U.S. Army general and Cochise, then in his 60s. Maybe he had just run out of gas. Or room. He retired to where the present-day stronghold is and died in 1874 of natural causes.

I wasn’t close to running out of gas, but daylight was another matter. Clouds were rolling in and the light was beginning to dull. I was at the walls of the stronghold, but I’d have to hike to get in, and I didn’t have the time. Damn. I didn’t have a clue where this winding trail was leading. I kept imaging a nice two-lane asphalt state highway always around the next bend. Didn’t happen.

After bounding along for about an hour, I finally came upon humans. Young eco campers sitting around in the late afternoon, parked beneath a copse of trees. They turned and stared at the Mustang like it was a spaceship. “Excuse me fellows, but where the hell am I?” One camper in a wooly cap with flaps down over his ears said: “Go 500 yards and that’s the end of the trail, turn around there. Take this road back 12 miles and you’ll come to Middlemarch Road, much wider. Take Middlemarch to Route 80 and head south to Tombstone.”

Damn, a full retreat. And I never set foot in Cochise’s stronghold. A gloom set in. I was out of my depth. Had the wrong car. Misjudged the map. I’d be lucky to get out without rolling off a shoulder and being rescued by the Border Patrol. On my way back I passed a campsite of Boy Scouts settling in for supper. One of the men leading the pack slowly watched my drive by with a stare that said, “You tenderfoot fool. What the hell do you think you’re doing out here in a convertible?”

A few times the Mustang lurched down into a rut or flat ran over a rock chunk. There go the shocks, the suspension, the paint job. My only hope was to get the car so mud splattered and covered in grime any small dents and scratches would be camouflaged.

I made it back to State Highway 80 to see one of those famous Arizona sunsets. The hills turn to purple haze and the sky layered with streaks of burnt red, orange, yellow, then sky blue, deep blue and if you look straight above, stars are out with a clarity you will never back east.

I had about a 70-minute drive on 80 to the border town of Douglas, where I would stay the next two nights exploring the borderline. In the growing darkness I considered those Wild West myths and legends, how Cochise went from feared terrorist to having a county named after him, as well as a community college. He’d get a laugh out of that, too. First we killed his people, cornered them, defanged them, then turned them into what we call nowadays revenue streams. Wild Bill Cody showed off old warriors in Europe as part of his touring show. Back east in the late 1800s, publishers of so-called dime novels cashed in on pulp fiction heroes and villains of the Far West. Cochise, Geronimo, Red Cloud, Crazy Horse, they have been mythologized for more than a century now. Hollywood made millions off them. In the 50s and 60s TV couldn’t broadcast enough westerns. When Disneyland opened in 1955 one of the most popular attractions was an hourly Indian attack on a beleaguered but brave fort. This little fling of mine through southern Arizona provided just a glimpse of the barren, simple living behind the myths. Most tourists would sleep their way through this kind of hard country. Wake me up when we’re at Universal Studios.

Afterword

Arizona is the closest state in the U.S. projecting a third world vibe. You have the sprawling country club that is Phoenix. Gated communities like 500 Club at Adobe Damn, Antelope Hills, Apache Wells. Scottsdale’s walled in wealth — “plenty of late night partying and a buzzing hotel scene,” says The New York Times. Scottsdale is 90 percent white, with a median family income of $92,000. Stunning Sedona where retirees find the sunset is 92 percent white, with the median age of 50. Upscale resorts and fashion malls pepper Phoenix and Tucson: the Biltmore Fashion Center, Desert Sky Mall, Foothills Mall. Out in suburban Glendale sits a hulking silver aluminum space ship, an enclosed stadium with retractable roof and a grass field that can be rolled outside for cultivating. It is where the Arizona Cardinals NFL team plays. You have Arizona State and University of Arizona, hip campuses, “flipflops in February” is how they are marketed in the Midwest and East.

Then there is the legion of immigrants, legal and illegal. Douglas is 80 percent Hispanic. There is what is left of the Apaches, the Navajos, in isolated towns like Kenyatta up north and Nogales Arizona on the border. Residing in the middle class is Cliff the clerk at Budget Rent A Car, a 22-year veteran. “Recovery, yeah, sure, whatever,” he tells me. And Phyllis Little, who owns with her husband Rich the High Desert Antiques store on the small main drag in Benson, 40 miles south of Tucson on I-10. “You wouldn’t believe the rent here,” she says. She and her husband are hanging on. Not making money, not losing it. Tourism hasn’t come back, she says.

There is middle class life in new adobe subdivisions outside of Douglas. A Wal-Mart and Target and Safeway have done their damage, draining the life out of downtown Douglas and G Street. Phoenix is ringed by suburbs: Mesa, Carefree, Paradise Valley, Sunrise, Sun City, Goodyear, Chandler and Tempe. It’s all good.

But you’re never far from the edge between gated comfort and grinding poverty. A gap-toothed Mex with a loopy smile rings up a case of Bug Light at a Circle K convenience store. Asked his age, he says 35; he looks about 50. Two teens come in asking for firewood. Creepy. And I’m suburban Mesa.

The booze flows easy out here. Stacks of beer, hard liquor, jugs or minis, and racks of wine at any Circle K or Safeway supermarket. That’s a lethal combo, easy booze, guns and poverty. Put Tombstone on the map, and still is making news today.

On a cloudless Monday morning, I pull out of Douglas at 6:30 in the morning, frost on the car, 22 degrees outside. Driving west the sun begins to climb from the flat desert behind me, a blinding orange and yellow orb. The sky above turns rich blue. I want to grab a handful. The air is clean and clear and the road empty. The Chiricahua, Dragoon, Huachuca, Whetstone and Santa Rita mountain ranges rim the horizon. Who needs myths when you have mornings like this.

Soundtrack CDs for a southern Arizona road trip:
Outlaws musicians wealthy enough like Willie and Waylon to live outside the lines, and others who don’t make dough and don’t give up: Simon Stokes with his biker white beard. Ronnie Elliott playing lounges in Tampa. Brooding bluesman Charlie Musselwhite. The soundtrack from the film Get Low. South Memphis String Band. Jerry Garcia, live from Berkeley in 1975, an outlaw from the world of fluorescent office lights these guys will never and could never see. Sufjan Stevens. Richard Hawley’s “Truelove’s Gutter.” The Kills (for all you who think rock and roll guitar music is dead and gone), jazz pianist Fred Hersch, the soundtrack to the remake of “True Grit” (but of course).